I got some counseling last year. I figured it was high time, since I had basically hit my quarter-life crisis. And while not every moment was exactly useful, there were two thoughts that have stuck with me until now: First: I was living under others' expectations - friends, family, especially my church family. This resulted in me not making any choices for me, or not feeling like I was in control. I was constantly doing things because others wanted me to do them. It's amazing how tiring that gets. The other thought was a random thing that popped in my head while we were discussing how I was going to balance the whole gay/LDS thing. We were discussing laws, and how I was going to deal with these spiritual laws that I felt like I still believed in to some extent, but I didn't know how to accept them. As I recall, Mr. Counselor Man mentioned how it can seem impossible to accept these laws that feel so unchangeable. The example he gave was, "It's like
I still have my original missionary badge! When I attended the ALL (Arizona LDS LGBT) conference this past April, I was privileged to be on a panel of six or so individuals to answer some questions fielded from a moderator before lunch. It was about an hour long, though I must say I could've talked for hours . It was so much fun and exciting to talk directly to people, more or less, and answer their questions. The Ally Nights we've had in the past in my Tucson group are similar: that is, we would allow others to ask us questions, and we would share our thoughts and stories as LGBT members. Anyway, one question asked was something like, "Should I continue to encourage my child [presumably LGBT] to go on a mission for the church?" This has been a tough thing for me to answer in the past, because my feelings about the mission are complex. On the one hand, I have a foundation of belief in the core tenets of the gospel that were formed from the spiritual experien